I find it hard to gage interest when its been a week and I havent been asked out after our fun evenings out and about. There are some people who dont immediately proffer a date until they feel comfortable with the person theyre speaking to. They see online dating as a perpectual candy store. She asks me I thought he was so into me. I dont want a relationship or anything like that. I think you know the answer. I am an older woman, trying to date online. There were some cancellations and changes but when we go out we have a great time. When a man is interested he reaches out and tries to spend time with you. And that I havent been able to put it behind me. I honestly dont know the answer. You dont know him at all. and I have this crush on him, Go ahead and ask just be prepared for the answer. I usually give advices to other people, but when it comes to myself, I have so many doubts. No, dont ignore! You want a man who has real potential to share time with and get to know. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He replied quickly to my coffee date and set up a time a place. It shows hes interested in communicating with you properly. Equally amazing. TMR339 10 mo. After a few messages back and forwards, he asked if we could talk on the phone instead. So we did met was a good first meeting he said I am more more attractive in person we talked for 6 hours we just talked about our self and everything. Both time was fantastic. Sorry, but if he were interested hed be in touch. Doesnt really matter. He should SHOW you with an action that took effort. So I texted, well, text me your schedule, so we can see if it works with mine! To me this is very strange but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. You have a crush. Didnt explain. Of course we texted a lot at first but we would also go on weekly dates and went on the first week really quickly. It was a very enthusiastic text that was sent as soon as he got home that evening. There were very lil flirts, compliments and a minute sense of interest from his side which i took it on a positive side, his text replies reduced much .. but i considered it as may be , he was busy First date was great and he texted me the day after. He said: what a beautiful picture! I think you may have misinterpreted my advice here. But he never followed through with an actual in person date. I was only being human and said nothing negative in my texts. He school assessment finish at 10 am. Move on. He openly admitted the logistics are probably not feasible for a viable relationship to give me what I want or deserve but the door wasnt completely closed. For whatever reason, hes not available. I do agree the fix is face to face contact. We met for a dinner date, then I cooked him dinner at my place. But cmon you text me good morning. Yes, I agree that texting is confusing. More than that we end up doing and saying things we regret. I like to keep this dating game with him but am I missing something? You arent in a relationship with this guy and hes shown no real signs that its what he wants. Bp. Bp. Dont get hooked on a fantasy, ok? but he can only say for sure if he likes her girl by meeting her After that i decided to take the leap and ask him when hes free and ill clear my schedule. Funny though, they all turned out to be dating others at the same time they were dating me. Bp, Ive had a couple of in person dates and have been asked to meet again on the weekend, he has been texting every couple of days just saying hi etc, Im wondering if its appropriate to Iniate a text occasionally inbetween meeting and him texting. I found this article very interesting. Afraid my raw self wouldnt be loved, wanted. I started talking to a guy on Tinder. Does it sound as positive as i feel it is? He is working 24/7 for the moment until he has found some new empolyees. We text everyday and video chat at night but when I hinted at him liking me he denied me. We have asked each other abt our dating lives in jest..I dont know what he thinks about usplus I hv issues to sort out.this is driving me crazy on what direction to takewhether to ask him outright..and even if v do confess I dont know whether I ll be b able to handle itI am scared whether I ll regret if I dont act upon.. .v both prob arent gonna be at this company for a long time . crushed me. I DO wish you the best, Bp, A great blog. He dated a girl for half a year before we met but she cheated on him several times, I just not sure Should I let this go since we are having in person contact? Once that fades, couples get into a more realistic routine. Two weeks later he texted me, apologizing and asked if I was available some time as he would be back soon. Do I get a 3rd cell phone? So I got the picture, he wasnt interested but thought I will give it one attempt. But: I did not expect anything from him, I just enjoyed my night with fun and meeting a nice guy and good kisses! Andhave fun! I stopped answering and she texted me the next day and conversation continued, and asked her if this day during the week worked. He told me he would like to visit Europe and that he will come and visit me as soon as possible for him. Mention that you have noticed a decrease in communication and you're wondering if something is going on that you're not aware of. 1 week later and as I didnt have any news from him, Ive decided to ask explanation about this behavior, and shared my feelings about his silence. Please dont waste your time on a fantasy, ok? We established that were both free on the weekends but he kept saying, Well have to find a time the more i pushed for us to either talk on the phone or meet in person i noticed it would take him longer to reply. My children insist on texting me instead of calling and most of their messages go unread. Theres something that feels safe and secure when you build from there. Please, move on to a man who is interested and willing to show you the attention that you would like. I mentioned communication was very important for me; he promised me it wont never happen again. That was 3 days ago, and although he is texting throughout the day, he hasnt responded to my invite or told me what hes going through with his dog. He didnt reschedule or hasnt really flirted like normal. The last month he texted me every day since we had been home from school. later he all of the sudden texted me again, asking if I would like to go out some time. You dont want to waste your time with a pen pal, right? Move on, my friend. Hi Jojo. He wont exchange phone numbers because he hates talking on the phone. Thanks for getting together with me, hope we can do something less explosive next time (other than shooting). My suggestion, Tell him youd like to meet up or stop communicating. Everything is great, we text everyday all day. Then when I went back home for the holidays he stopped sending me good morning texts or he wouldnt text me throughout the day. I've filled a few of these and the only removable piece was the mouth piece. That implies consistency, which translates to you knowing you can count on him. This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. And dating others. There are lots of great men out there. In the meantime move on with your life and dont fall into the trap of thinking texting is dating. I happen to have a land telephone line in addition to a cell phone. I recently before the holidays went on two dates with a man, right before the holidays. I know looking back I should have added a bit more enthusiasm to my text, but I think chasing it up wouldnt look great at this point. We have had a several other meetings, usually he came to my place. This was strange as we text every day. Do I wait it out or try to stop this now? I told him alone and he said i should not be going alone. These are things to (eventually) talk to him about. My sister tells me I am to naive which I am. At what point do I assume shes maybe not interested in going out again but too nice to say so? HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT!!! I had informed her that I would prefer that it was just us since this was our first meeting, however, she insisted on going to the party. There are times we have meaningful conversations ans sometimes just a hello & hi. If youre asking, girlfriend, then hes not that into you or hes just not a gentleman at all. Or just thinking i will message him sooner or later seeing as I told him I liked him alot? It all happened over 40 years ago and Ive been to counseling its hard for me to figure that thats still somehow affects the way I interact with men. Hi Charlene. We still never made a relationship out of it because he was unemployed he said he thought of himself as a bum and apologized to me. He mentioned that it could be arranged on a weekend, best for him. Then after a couple of weeks, poof, they are gone. Most of the times, i reached out to him were about school applications which he was helping me, coz i dont want him to feel pressured). We started exchanging emails about our professional lives and our countries (we live in different continents Portugal and Brasil) and exploring cultural differences. I mention to her to text when she gets home. I like her. And Im the one whos saying lets meet in person but they want to keep texting. There are other men who are! We devote our program to one of the most scathing and insightful indictments of the modern-day corporate media, particularly their subservience to power centers and how they eagerly spread disinformation campaigns in service to that power. I wish you the very best, of course. Can tell by their lack of effort, they are on line to surface chat, flirt, seek out an occasional hookup. As far as I can tell, you are allowing him to make you your f-buddy. Hate covid We are in different cities and have been having the most amazing, respectful, fun, considerate lovely and also intense whatsapp chat for almost 3 months while we wait for lockdown to be over, so we can finally meet. Maybe hes unusually busy? (Honestly, half the time I dont know what a guy means based on twelve words on a screen. Thats exactly how to do it, Yvette. We were looking for someone to have fun with and have a companion. And yeah and he still the same he said he loves me but its hard to believe knowing him he been through a lot of relationship. Several times I have tried to draw a line in the sand with his hot and cold demeanor and Houdini act. A week later we went on a date with his 11 yo daughter (he couldnt find sitter or something). A week has gone by as well as it has been 2 weeks since we last saw each other. Bp. He is a man of writing, in all senses, and its one thing I like about him. Interesring article. Give this some thought. Why would you put up with his being hot and cold after all this time? Your advice? But it is so romantic! He is a little off/on right now. Overall, just be confident and direct in your communication. The Theory, Explained, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Not on your phone or your computer. I met a guy through my job (he was/is a patient) and we played tag for over a year and we just recently exchanged numbers. Me: You are so sweet to check in! Do I ask for a second one? He sent me a message saying a 3rd date was a big deal and he felt like I was the full pacakage. He left town a few days later to see his large family over Xmas. 5. Bp, hello i met this guy on online dating weve been talkin on the phone and text back and forth since late July we havent really seeing each other much but we text a lot and talk on the phone for hours it seems like he makes time for everyone else but havent made any time for me I usually see him maybe once a month or twice a month now its like Im only seeing him maybe once every two months one month i didnt see him at all but we talk on the phone late night for hours how do I know if hes really into me he tells me he wants to see how far this is going to go what should I do, Reread the article. Or if I say I havent done something hes like we need to go there. We chat almost everyday and I know he is busy and so am I, but I wish it could go futher. He assures me that he wont leave me hanging and wants to meet up soon. Its simply how he prefers to communicate with you. He was just a bit forward, according to him. If not, I am not interested in a chat buddy. But he still texts me everyday, and although I love to receive his texts, I dont want to create expectations or have a false feeling of connection. We finally met and went on a date the same day. Second meet up I sort of provoked and that also went well. Voice calls are overrated, especially in the very beginning of a relationship or before the first date: awkward silences, both people wondering who should end the call first and when, figuring out how often to call, when to call back, what to say. He told me I could trust him and I believed him and did. I have a Facebook account and dont usually get requests from people to be friends often other than the people that I already know. Ask him if he is interested in getting to know each other better? I think its great that you prefer texting. There's good banter, good pace. You can read more about pingers and learn what you can do with them by reading this article :Why Does He Keep Disappearing and Reappearing? Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff. I stopped texting him for one week coz i didnt want to disturb his family times and he reached out to me later But just before he moved to another country for diplomatic, he changed not texting me a lot or he sounded just a normal friend. Its your call how to respond but thats how I see it. If your texts are just bull and he wont call hes basically saying he really isnt that interested in getting to know you. You keep in touch about once a week, on average, but probably not every day. Regardless, why waste energy worrying about this at all? He then would write let me join you and joke around. Did I make the right call here, Bobbi? Now texting is minimal (and Im not budging in texting him much either because dont want to seem desperate. I met this guy on tinder. Like I say in my article, simply texting (and even just phone calls) dont mean much. We got to know each other through app. I mentioned I had the weekend off. If not, heres a tip: when a man asks you out expect him to give you some specifics. We had like moments where we connected. Put your phone away. After about a month, I had to go away for two months for the holidays. If youre spending weekends together and hes not super avaiable during the week it could be because hes BUSY. Right? Im not opposed to getting to know him better but I find these types of messages annoying when I hardly know the person. Please reread the article. Last couple he read but ignored. I wouldnt keep up with the textingits not getting you anywhere. Really, Im open to whatever we do, I just need a time to be ready by lol Please tell me your thoughts! I wouldnt be surprised if he was married or otherwise connected. A Month Of Texting, Tells You He Likes You, & Then Disappears Heres Why, Why He Might Be Attracted To You But Not Interested In A Relationship, Why Does A Guy Stare At A Woman But Not Approach Her. What do you think? Hi, I really like your post. Im recently divorced 15 months ago after 25 years . We do spend time together when we can. They need to know you can and will have time for them. Bp. He sent a few texts every few days in the beginning and now its daily. Please be discerning and do not give attention to anyone who doesnt try to make a date to meet. Hugs, Bp. Hi Nancy! ok fair enough. Bp. But if hes in the shes nice I might ask her out again stage he wont. Run Micah, run!! I didnt text him all these days to see if he really cares the conversation we shared and he definitely knew that i would be waiting for his text which i have told him jn previous fight we had But he failed to text me this time too I find him online sometimes ( very rare) .. but do u think, if he is angry that iam seeking a lot of attention or he had been playing mind games or What? What could potentially be going on with this one ? I know what a real man does when hes into someone, but Im not sure in this scenario what it all means? And certainly, if you havent yet even met you ought not be thinking of stopping dating. You need to make a move or attraction will die out. So its not just the guys who are making this the norm. Next! I realize your situation is challenging and you may have to adjust for it. We have also gone out on a second impromptu date. after I went back to the country where I live and work,he visited me twice. Hello, need some advice here Got to know from a dating site. Should I cut him off? I am tired of always reaching out/seeming more interested but at the same time whats the harm? Theres nothing wrong with that. Texting. I read their profile. I responded coldly to his last message and then stopped responding. This is about being an adult and facing the realities head on. Due to personal circumstances on my end, we havent met sooner as we planned. I would LOVE to hear your texting stories and answer your questions about how to make it work for you whiledating or in your relationship. Yeah me too. (& quiet on comm. Im happy to hang out and see what happens.. any thoughts? Everyday. So i finally said to him something along the lines of, Text me when youre ready to meet because Im free this weekend and dont like texting back and forth everyday he has yet to respond and that was yesterday afternoon. Bp. etc. We messaged each other back and forth on there for a little before exchanging numbers. I went up that way twice once to deliver some goats and once to work. Id do that all over again. Was it only ego? I met a man online, and we text for a while before arranging to meet up. Mirror his texting habits. So many of these guys text me tell me of their desires for intimacy and connection. He said How are you darling? I didnt respond, because I had told him earlier in the week that if I felt like he wasnt putting in any effort, I would eventually just quit responding. Bp. I think many people prefers online dating because they feel comfortable there. I met a man on a dating site. Please give me some advices !!! so I have a question about this dude i started talking to him first he responded back and I went from there so today after talking to him for two days I asked for his phone number he said thats classified but then he also said Im not allowed to give that kind of information out is it a scam or he just dont feel comfortable giving me his phone number? 5) Youre best off finding people who are comfortable, open and honest with themselves (and you) to show themselves to you. We have hooked up but lately, we do see each other when we can (he currently works out of town). There are days where I dont even want to try anymore. She wants to know how to stop obsessing over him being The One. The second time we set up to meet I went and bought a dress , shoes, nails etc. I know I need to forget him but its hard. Youll know what to do. Be kinda casual like that. Is he just a super nice guy, or does it mean he really IS into me? Feel so low and like im a first class fool I need some words of wisdom xx, Hi Angelina. Tell him you enjoyed Talking with him and youd like to get to know him a little better. This is a person who has a very good reputation and we have very many professional connections and friends. he worked as a Diplomatic in my home town. Dating at 45 is not for the faint of heart! Was an excusehe would get a gf then leave. I dont have time in my life for games. Diane, youre not being selfish wanting to see him; youre being smart. He seems like an honest, caring and kind guy (we are both 25). Bp. That was weird (do u agree? My mind always reverts to not wanting to do it because I dont want to be the one doing the effort, even if hes shown some effort before. I know that Im emotional affected a little. If youre just looking for the excitement youre going to be stuck with flakes forever. I feel confused and if i was encouraging enough. I realize he is NOT into me but he is a NICE man and I would like to have him as a friend if nothing more. Continue doing great work Bobbi! He then said I love my daughter but want to see you too so how about if I call you around 12 on Saturday and maybe we could do something Sunday afternoon. Youre seeing flags, though, and its important that youre aware like that. I was scared but willing that night we had a fight through texting and after hours of back & forth he told me we meet he would need a weeks notice? So while havjng flaws doesnt make him a no, how he communicates with me over the phone will help me understand him a lot. But then it kind of got a little weird. I met a guy on an app online, its been a week, he started off funny and cute on the app, but over text he has become a horny teen. He stated he was just being friendly, however he did respect that. Hi He then started a full-time job and became a little busier. Hi Sareh. Bp. A little bummed that it seems to be written especially for me. If he is distant but still texts, or if shes still responsive but intermittently, then yes, it is possible the lack of texting is an indication that they've lost some of that lovin feeling. He said so I should expect to see you in the morning. I said if you are awake that early. He is very sweet and a gentleman. I am sick of the texting and l ferl that if he is interested, why not call me every day if there is no one in his life. Then he asked me my schedule (our schedules were totally incompatible)but said it have to wait until his health is stable. If you don't hear back, move on. After that it was all text. Sometimes, people look at their text messages on their Apple Watches and think, Ill respond to this later, and then completely forget to respond, says Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask a Matchmaker, and this is a perfectly valid explanation. (P.s He works 12 hour Night shift and have school after that so i get that hes tired and real busy) He canceled it 2 hours before. We like each other and plan to meet. No set date, no plans, no nothing. He kept repeating he finish at 10. and then he said he might end earlier like 9.30 so i changed the time to 10. Bp. (I never will understand the online obsession.its really creepy! Like I say in the article: thats not a relationship. You never know what came up in his life. They want to meet you! Why should I have to carry the cell phone around my house just in case? Do Men Confuse You? You want a man who has a career and a life, right? Glad to know my instincts were correct. but all texting just stopped . https://datelikeagrownup.com/why-does-he-keep-disappearing/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/texting-and-dating-after-40/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/what-are-your-dating-and-relationship-rules/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201504/what-is-confirmation-bias, https://datelikeagrownup.com/how-to-tell-is-he-into-me/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/dating-what-to-say-to-men-in-difficult-situations/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/mature-dating-advice-dont-ask-dont-get/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/friends-with-benefits-ruining-love-life/, https://datelikeagrownup.com/how-t-ask-for-what-you-want-from-a-man/. Things were going well until the Holidays. I like texting and calling.more calling is even better.. Hello! I am getting mix signals because at times i feel he cares for me but sometimes i feel he doesnt. He's less responsive, taking longer to reply or, when he does, he replies with the dreaded one-word texts. what a childish behaviour. I also agree with #4. BP I going to be very honest I been dating this guy for 3 years on and off and in between the on and off I been going out on dates with other guys the person I been dating on and off isnt really my type .I care about him a lot yes I do love him but Im not in love with him Im so use to some of the routines things we do that I start to miss it at times I have a hard time of letting go I think I wont find better Im I selfish to keep him around for all the wrong reason and not be in love with him help BP. Texting is a cop-out. Good for you. I really dont mean to be harsh but that one boring text could ruin a guys chances with you is a shame. Were both grown adults (35/37) who enjoy each others company when were together so I dont understand why he is being this wayas a woman it does make me feel a bit insecure, like hes losing interest, or maybe he feels like he doesnt have to make an effort anymoreI dont know if I might just be over analyzing things since I am starting to develop stronger feelings for him and Im afraid he might be drifting apart. We have quite big age gap hes 13 years older than me. On the other hand, I think its great that youre going to talk with him further to learn more. Because, again, texting and chatting online is not really connecting. If so, then the slowdown in their texting is nothing more than the usual ebb and flow inherent in all areas of a comfortable and secure relationship. Bp. Let him know that you are enjoying getting to know him better, and that your experience is that the real way to do that is to be face to face. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. All of a sudden he told me that I am not looking for anything serious. Thank you in advance to everyone who reads this and responds :) So I met a guy on Hinge, a dating app- we really hit it off and weve been texting everyday since September 2020. I am not sure if I missed a big hint from him when he said he will expect to see me in the morning. No second-guessing. Over a matter of a few weeks, he went from acting excited to see her and pursuing her to spacing out dates.